


beautiful (make love to me)

by MoonlightBreeze



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: (And he gets them), (not in a bad way), A little bit of introspection, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Has a Praise Kink, Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alec really likes Magnus's rings okay, Bottom Alec Lightwood, Caring Magnus Bane, Crying, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Fluff, Hand & Finger Kink, Hand Jobs, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Fluff, Porn with Feelings, Ring Kink, Top Magnus Bane, and he also trusts him very much, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:14:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27570610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlightBreeze/pseuds/MoonlightBreeze
Summary: Alec is yet to experience what it feels like to be loved, wholly and completely, by someone that wants every piece & part of you, for better or for worse. Magnus seeks to change that.Or, Alec learns the difference between having sex and making love.(Alternatively: Em somehow manages to write fluff, smut, and hurt/comfort into one fic.)
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 28
Kudos: 250





	beautiful (make love to me)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! So I am...very behind with finishing my Whumptober prompts. Oops. Life is kind of hectic right now, so I'm existing purely on my dangerous access to a Netflix account that has all of my favourite shows, willpower, and the desire to spite my transphobic instructor with my argumentative essay about trans rights. I promise I'll put out more fics when I'm less exhausted and I don't feel like my words have shriveled up and died every time I try to write. 
> 
> Which brings us to the more relevant bit: this fic! I can honestly say I have no idea where this fic came from, but enjoy? I so rarely write smut that I was actually thrilled to write this, and I'm even a little happy with the way it turned out!
> 
> So, with that being said, I really hope you like this!! Kudos make my day and comments validate my existence, so please feel free to leave those, if you want :) And, as always, I hope you have a wonderful day/night!
> 
> ~ Em

Alec never really understood the phrase, make love. Sex wasn't love. That wasn't what it meant. Sex was, was fun or distracting or a means to an end. It wasn't _love_.

Jace had sex because he enjoyed it. He liked the feelings, the sensations. He loved to feel adored, worshiped, even. He never loved the girls he charmed or, later in life, the guys that he let into his bed. Alec knew that. Jace always preached about how amazing sex was, but Alec didn't see the appeal. Not like that, not with people that were practically strangers, picked from a dance floor because of their outward appearance. It all seemed so, so _shallow_. 

For his mother, sex was a way to procreate. He never intended or wanted to know that, but the knowledge was as undeniable as his own name. His father, he knew, found sex elsewhere. His mother used sex to get pregnant, and that was it. He wasn't sure if she'd ever really enjoyed it in the first place until Luke came along.

And his sister, multitasker that she was, combined work & play and extracted information from Meliorn and the other Seelies she climbed into bed with on the weekends. He knew that she, like Jace, genuinely enjoyed having sex, and he was happy that she was happy, but sometimes he couldn’t help but feel that what she did was just short of a business arrangement. 

Sex meant a lot of things in the Shadow World, but love was rarely one of them. 

So when Magnus sat Alec down and asked him how he felt about sex, Alec wasn't sure how to respond. 

Did he want it, with Magnus? Sure, yes, of course he did. Magnus was _Magnus_ , after all, and Alec had eyes. 

But the idea of having sex - the definition of it that he'd learned in his lifetime, anyway - wasn't what he wanted with Magnus. He wanted to have sex with Magnus not entirely for physical reasons, but because he loved Magnus and, somewhere deep in his heart, he'd always hoped that sex could be just what all of the mundane books said it was: a deep, intimate connection between two people that loved each other. 

When Alec was silent for too long, Magnus's hands began to flutter in that endearingly panicked way of his, and he started to apologise, tell Alec that it was okay if he wasn't ready or didn't want to, that he wasn't trying to push Alec into anything he was unsure about or didn't want - 

Alec grabbed Magnus's hands and gave them a firm squeeze, effectively cutting off his nervous ramble. 

It took a few tries to explain the situation, but once he had, Alec felt better about the whole ordeal. Magnus seemed like he understood, which Alec didn't get but wasn't going to question. He trusted Magnus. 

And it was that trust that led Alec to follow his boyfriend into their bedroom and lay down on the sheets as Magnus had indicated. When Magnus disappeared, his heart rate didn't spike like he thought it would; he _trusted_ Magnus. More than he thought he would ever be able to trust anybody.

Magnus returned with a soft blue blanket and a glass of water, which he laid, folded up, at the end of the bed and placed on Alec’s nightstand, respectively. It only took a few seconds after that before Magnus was sliding onto the bed beside Alec, reaching for him before he'd even gotten himself situated. 

Alec went easily, his heart full and open, into Magnus's arms. Magnus held him there for a few moments, running ringed, nimble fingers through Alec's hair, before their lips connected. 

It was, as always, an electrifying feeling, but this time, there was something else, too. It felt soft and sweet against his lips, almost like honey. Alec wouldn't realise it until later, but that was the first time he tasted love.

Magnus's hands made their way to the back of Alec's neck, pressing him closer and deepening their kiss. Alec played along like they'd done this thousands of times before, following Magnus's lead like it was the easiest thing in the world to do. In a way, it was. 

Alec wasn't sure how long they'd been kissing, exploring each other's mouths with tongue and lips, enjoying the way their breaths mingled every time they broke apart for air, before Magnus's fingers began to fiddle with the hem of his t-shirt. 

Alec gave a little nod, the permission Magnus needed, and Magnus peeled the shirt off of him in one fluid motion, tossing it somewhere on the floor to deal with later. 

This wasn't the first time Magnus had seen him half-naked, but there was something to be said about the sensuality of it, the love that existed in Magnus's gaze as he drank in the sight of Alec's unclothed chest. It made Alec shiver, his mouth going dry. He had never, in all of his twenty-six years, been looked at like that before. 

When Magnus leaned down and began to pepper kisses over Alec's skin, just light, feather-soft grazes of his lips, Alec thought he might faint. He suddenly understood what Jace had meant when he'd talked about loving to feel adored. Alec, his head thrown back and his chest heaving, felt extremely adored.

Magnus worked his way down Alec's chest, leaving small kisses and sometimes bruising marks that made Alec cry out and arch his back, in his wake. When he reached Alec's nipples, Alec had to suck in a deep breath to stop the moan that wanted to escape. 

Magnus heard; of course he heard. He paused in his mission to kiss every inch of Alec's exposed skin to level his boyfriend with a stern look. "Don't hide those noises," he told Alec. "I want to hear them, all of them. Don’t hold back, my love.”

Alec, overwhelmed and wanting and unable to resist when Magnus commanded him like that, threw his head back and let out a loud, sinful moan that made Magnus's cock twitch in his pants.

Suddenly in a hurry, Alec tugged at Magnus's hair, his hands slipping through the gelled strands. Magnus understood the message and snapped his own shirt off, his pants following soon after. He hesitated at Alec's pants, his fingers hovering over the button. 

Alec reached for Magnus's hand in his lust-induced haze and nodded, squeezing Magnus's fingers. 

Magnus reached down and tugged Alec's pants off, throwing them to the floor with his shirt. Alec bit his lip, suddenly feeling exposed and a bit vulnerable. Magnus was the first, ideally the _only_ , person to see him like this, and it made his heart pound with anxiety. What if Magnus didn’t like what he saw? What if Alec wasn’t good enough for him? 

Magnus, sensing his qualms, moved forward and blanketed Alec's body with his. He connected their lips and tried to breathe his lust, his passion, his _love_ , into Alec. 

He could tell that it had worked when Alec's eyes widened and he squirmed underneath Magnus, reaching up to wind his arms around Magnus's shoulders. If he hadn't been paying such close attention, Magnus wasn't sure he would've noticed the little roll of his hips that Alec gave underneath him, silently begging for more. 

Magnus smirked. 

Alec moaned again, a low growl that rose in the back of his throat, when his next hip roll hit its mark head-on. The feeling of Magnus's hard cock against his made Alec shudder, his hands scrabbling for permanence on Magnus's shoulders. 

Magnus gave Alec a quick peck to the lips and retreated, focusing his attention on the center of Alec's desire. Alec's tongue darted out to wet his lips, a breathy moan escaping with it. He'd never felt like this; so loved, so appreciated, so, so _treasured_.

"Beautiful," Magnus said, stopping to admire the sight of Alec spread out for him, hard and leaking and practically writhing with desire. "Absolutely beautiful." 

The praise went straight to Alec's dick, and he cried out a little, choking on a moan. 

"Magnus, please," Alec breathed, and it was music to Magnus's ears. 

"Have patience, Shadowhunter," Magnus replied, sweeping Alec's curls away from his forehead. "I'm going to take good care of you." 

That made Alec moan once more, his cock straining against the restrictions of his underwear. 

"Please," Alec begged again, tears gathering in his eyes. 

Magnus leaned down and tugged Alec's boxers off without pretense. The cool air hit his cock perfectly, and it thickened under the heady gaze Magnus was giving it. 

In another second, Magnus's own underwear was gone, and they were both fully naked, panting and hard, Magnus peering down at Alec like he’d crafted the heavens above. Alec took a second to admire Magnus's physique, the silver necklaces that still draped over his chest. His rings caught the light and shone in a way that made Alec's mouth water, and before he knew it, he was grabbing Magnus's hand and shoving the other man’s fingers between his lips.

Magnus made a little sound of surprise, but he allowed Alec to suck on his fingers, relishing the little kitten licks that he left on the back of Magnus’s hand.

The brass felt cold against Alec's tongue, and the new sensation only heightened his experience. He whined, low and needy, around Magnus's fingers, and Magnus chuckled. 

Alec wasn't entirely sure what happened next. He knew that, at some point, Magnus's spit-slicked hand fell from his open mouth, as he was moaning too hard and too much. He knew that Magnus had reached down and wrapped his hand around Alec's dick, but beyond that, it was all lost in a haze of pleasure and wanting. 

Alec was vaguely aware of the tears that rolled down his cheeks as he came, spilling white ropes all over his and Magnus's chests, and the way Magnus tugged him close afterward, whispering sweet nothings in his ear and holding him like he was the single most precious thing on the planet. 

Alec remembered feeling safe, and he burrowed further into Magnus's arms, tucking his head into the crook of Magnus's neck. 

Hot tears still spilled from his eyes, raining onto Magnus's skin until it was wet and shiny with moisture. He wasn't even sure why he was crying; the sex was good, mind-blowing, even, and he had known it would be. But something about the way Magnus was holding him, the way Magnus made him feel more loved than he had ever felt before in his entire life, was overwhelming and beautiful. 

He wanted to reassure Magnus, tell him that he'd loved what they had done, but he didn't think he could speak. Luckily, Magnus seemed to understand that the tears meant good things, that Alec wasn't crying because he was unhappy; in fact, just the opposite. 

After a few minutes, Magnus shifted and reached for the blanket from before that was lying at the foot of their bed and tucked it around Alec. Alec exhaled shakily, choking on a sob. He felt sliced open, almost, like all of his darkest thoughts and deepest insecurities had been bared & laid to rest at Magnus’s feet. He felt taken care of in a way that he hadn’t for a very, very long time. 

The feeling only heightened when Magnus reached over him to grab the glass of water from the nightstand and gently put it to Alec’s lips, helping him to drink. His hands ran through Alec’s sweaty curls solicitously and Alec felt his entire body shaking, a visceral, unexplainable reaction to the care that Magnus was treating him with. It was so, so...Alec shuddered and let out another gut-wrenching sob, unable to find the words, even, to articulate his thoughts. It was strange and foreign and the best thing Alec had ever experienced. It was _beautiful_. 

Alec wasn't sure how long it had been before the tears slowed down, eventually trickling to a halt and stopping altogether. He buried his face in Magnus's shoulder, embarrassed by his reaction to what they’d done.

"Shhh," Magnus hushed him gently. "It's okay." 

"I - I'm sorry, you didn't even get to - " 

Magnus laughed, his lips stretching into an easy smile. "There will be plenty of time for that, darling. Tonight was about you." 

He kissed the top of Alec's head, and Alec thought he might melt under the sweetness of it. "Now you've made love." 

And Alec grinned, pressing a soft, open-mouthed kiss to Magnus's collarbone. He may not like having sex, what it stood for or what it meant, but he loved this. 

_Making love_.

One thing was for sure - making love and having sex were two very different experiences.

Alec knew that, with Magnus, it would always feel as beautiful as it had then. _Magnus_ was beautiful, and though he was loath to admit it anywhere other than the circle of his boyfriend's arms, Magnus made him feel beautiful, too. 

_Beautiful_.

Maybe _that_ was what sex was really supposed to be. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Stalk me on Tumblr](http://moonlight-breeze-44.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Prompts are open, but very slow! Thanks for your understanding. <3
> 
> If you love Shadowhunters, chaos, and gaining new friends (or any combination of the three), I invite you to [join the Discord server](https://discord.gg/82pvdE39fD) I run with my friends! We're a multifandom server that caters to Shadowhunters, Supernatural, Marvel, and more. We welcome everyone, and we'd love to have you! <3
> 
>  **NOTE:** After rereading this fic, I realised that my language & word choice could come off as rather derogatory or judgmental towards individuals that don't treat sex the way that it is treated in this fic - a deep, emotional connection between two people who love each other. That was NOT my intention AT ALL. I was attempting to show how Alec thought, explain why he had misgivings about the idea of having sex with Magnus, and offer the readers a glimpse into how he, personally, felt about sex. It was not meant, in any way, to be judgmental or hurtful towards anyone, and I deeply apologise if it came off that way. <3 
> 
> Thank you and I'll see you soon!
> 
> ~ Em


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